


Decode

by TenSpencerRiedPlease



Category: Black Panther (2018), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aromantic Tony Stark, Awesome T'Challa (Marvel), BAMF T'Challa (Marvel), I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Sweet T'Challa (Marvel), Tony Feels, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 03:50:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13895622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenSpencerRiedPlease/pseuds/TenSpencerRiedPlease
Summary: Tony stares at the sky and he bites his lip before speaking. He had to get it out, its been eating a him for years. “I think I’m a psychopath,” he finally says.Across from him T’Challa laughs, “you are not a psychopath,” he says.“I can’t feel love,” he says honestly. And he’s tried; he’s tried alot.





	Decode

Tony stares at the sky and he bites his lip before speaking. He had to get it out, its been eating a him for _years_. “I think I’m a psychopath,” he finally says.

Across from him T’Challa laughs, “you are not a psychopath,” he says and Tony turns to face him. Tony watches the action out of the corner of his eye but he doesn’t turn to face T’Challa.

“I can’t feel love,” he says honestly. And he’s tried; he’s tried a _lot_.

“Can so,” T’Challa tells him and Tony finally turns to face him because he literally just said he couldn’t feel love.

“Pretty sure I know how I feel better than you do,” he says.

T’Challa lifts a shoulder and then drops it, “if you were anyone else I would agree but you barely know which emotion is what let alone which one you are feeling at any given time. But I am curious, what makes you think you cannot feel love?” he asks. He reaches out to Tony too, brushing his fingers along Tony’s jaw. He leans into it because the touch was nice and he’s always hated going without it. He wasn’t sure how he ended up such a touchy person when he never really got affection as a kid and oh, wait, maybe that was why. T’Challa might have a point in saying he has no idea which end is up.

He sighs, “I have tried really, _really_ hard to love people. I’ve even tried all different kinds of people, you know, to be scientific. Pepper was great, we get along really well and even though she technically isn’t a genius she should be. Her ability to run a business is almost more impressive than mine, we made a formidable pair. Still do technically but whatever. Anyways. Rhodey and I were best friends since I was ten, it’s a no brainer that we get along, have things on common, the whole bit and that didn’t work so I decided maybe I should try people that aren’t like me. The whole _world_ knows how Steve ended. And then there was the even bigger disaster that was Bucky. And then Sam, god knows what I was even _thinking_ with Scott, and then I thought I should go back to people like me and Hope and I were doomed before that even-”

T’Challa cuts him off, “what’s that got to do with love, Tony,” he says softly.

What did it- he shakes his head, unwilling to believe T’Challa was that obtuse. “T’Challa I’ve basically dated half the planet and I haven’t loved _any_ of them. Even you and you’re smarter than me, by a little, crazy attractive, and a literal fucking _prince_. What more could I possibly want in a person? I have hit the damn limit with you and I am not dating an abusive bum to hit the other extreme to see if _that’ll_ work. I can’t love people, it just doesn’t happen,” he says.

For a moment T’Challa looks confused before he shakes his head. “Define ‘can’t love’ for me, hmm?”

Tony squints at him, “are you not offended? Because everyone else I’ve said this to gets offended way before now,” he says. Pepper was offended before he even finished his sentence and Rhodey had been too. Steve set his ass on blast on social media- hence the whole world knowing about it- and when he accidentally started dating his hot best friend without realizing the Steve Bucky talked about was his ex well… that went even worse.

“I’m not offended, I’m confused. You do love me, and you love my cat, and Rhodey, and things that are too flashy and expensive, which is how you ended up dating Stephen Strange, who I am convinced actually _is_ a psychopath. You love lots of things- coffee is probably your soul mate so what do you mean you can’t love?” he asks. He brushes his thumb over Tony’s bottom lip and he sighs, taking a small amount of pleasure in the touch before he speaks again.

That and T’Challa maybe had a point about Stephen, who had been the only one who hadn’t been offended that Tony didn’t really love him. Either that or his ego, which rivaled Tony’s, was big enough to save him from hurt feelings. He liked to think it was option two mostly because Steven really did have a huge ego and it make more sense than being a psychopath. T’Challa raises an eyebrow and Tony realizes he’s stalling thinking about Stephen. “I… don’t know how to describe it. There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s just… I don’t feel it. That stupid butterflies in the stomach thing or whatever it is people feel. I don’t get any of that shit you see in romcoms, none of that makes any sense to me,” he says, shaking his head.

T’Challa considers his words for a long moment. “What you are describing isn’t love Tony, its romance. They’re not the same,” he says and Tony frowns.

“They kind of are. Are you sure you’re not offended?” he asks. Everyone was always offended way before this point minus Stephen because he’s a freak of nature and the only thing he wanted to romance was surgery. He and Tony really only dated because they both had an interest in fast cars and once that fizzled out well, that was that.

“I am not offended, stop asking,” T’Challa tells him, laughing. “But I already knew that you don’t… I don’t know, I have no work for it in English. Regardless its painfully obvious that you have an aversion to romance in particular. Almost everyone you’ve dated warned me- you wanted all the benefits of dating without the actual relationship and I was curious. Turns out the only thing you didn’t want was a declaration of love. Its what makes me different from the rest, why I’ve lasted the longest,” he says.

Tony frowns because he hadn’t considered that but it was true. “Wait, that’s actually legit. How’d you figure that out?” he asks.

T’Challa laughs and shakes his head. “I asked everyone who warned me when everything changed and the answer was the same every time, and then they warned me about the speech you just gave. Minus the psychopath thing, that was new. I just avoided the turning point and watched everyone else get confused when our relationship didn’t die,” he says.

A declaration of love. It seemed so obvious now but he’d never made the connection before. So much for a scientific study of his feelings if he misses something so obvious. “Do you though? Love me I mean,” he clarifies.

Its T’Challa looking away that tips him off but he’s nice enough to confirm it. “I do, I have almost since I met you. You’re hard not to love- please don’t look at me like that. I don’t expect you to feel it back; you may be right about the love thing but not in the way you think. You love just fine, its romantic love you seem to lack.”

Its clear that T’Challa has thought about this longer than Tony has and he sighs, “so what’s that mean for us?” he asks.

“Nothing. Whatever your feelings are haven’t affected our relationship so far, why would it need to change?” he asks, shrugging.

Tony stares back up at the sky and shakes his head. “Wow. After all those ruined relationships and then you… seriously, I thought you couldn’t get more perfect than being a literal prince but here you are surpassing expectations I didn’t even have.”

“Well, I am excellent,” T’Challa says and Tony laughs.

“Yeah, you are. So you’re really not bothered that I don’t… love you?” he winces, not wanting to say it out loud.

T’Challa shakes his head, “I told you, you do love me, like you love Rhodey, and Pepper, and everyone else you loved but weren’t in love with. The fact that you didn’t know the difference between the two is irrelevant to me, yes.”

Love but not in love… “explain that,” he says, squinting a little as he considers the possibility.

“You love my cat, but you are not in love in with, that is creepy,” he says.

When T’Challa says that it seems obvious too. “I think I need therapy if my boyfriend can figure out what I’m feeling way before I can,” he says and T’Challa laughs.

“That is probably true, but in your defense I am _far_ more in tune with emotions than you are. Kiwi is more in tune with her emotions than you are and her emotions are mostly running into walls and eating,” he says. Yeah, the fact that T’Challa’s _cat_ had a better grasp on emotions than he did was sad.

He sits up though, leaning his forehead into T’Challa’s. “I wish my emotions were as simple as eating and running into walls, but sadly we can’t all be Clint. And thank you. I um… kind of love you I guess. Just not in the way I thought I was supposed to.”

T’Challa leans in and kisses him softly, “and that’s more than enough for me.”

**Author's Note:**

> [My writing Tumblr](https://tenspencerriedplease.tumblr.com/)


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